almost 5/52

I hate that feeling of wanting to take something I've said back. You feel good at the time of saying it, and then feel miserable for days after. I have to constantly remind myself to Be Nice, even though sometimes being the opposite is easier, enjoyable even.

Taken a liking to 5th med. Although lately the days have passed by way too quickly and I don't know if I'm doing enough in these last few weeks. I'm probably not, and I'm probably always whining about it as well. Few tutorials in a day, bedsides (if lucky), run through few cases and before I know it its 7pm. Very rarely I'd get long cases done, either because there's not a suitable time to do it or really because I don't quite like doing it (let's be honest).

Anyway 5 weeks to exams. It might as well be 5 days. Cortisol rising at steady state. Panic attacks few and far in between but anticipate to increase in frequency and intensity over next few days. Spread the stress then to nearby friends...even better.

I love how EVERY single patient in the wards are the perfect patients for our exams. Like they'd have us see one patient and then say afterwards that if this was exam season, that particular patient would DEFINITELY be called for the exams. Its kinda amazing at first when you think "Wow I actually saw a potential exam patient, this is good going". Then after a while you get the idea that every patient are potential exam candidates, so you end up having to know everything anyway. No-win situation. At this point I feel like everything is an exam favorite. Anything can come out is the mantra. Leg infection, eye infection, hands turning white in the cold...

Don't know what will happen on the day.

But sure give will give this medicine course a go anyway.