I've gotta start putting more work in, tons of things to do but I never get started because I am excellent at planning and nothing else. I've made my to-do list Everywhere, in my phone, on the test pad, in my diary. And thats as far as it goes, what a waste.

If I'm walking around carrying Eckhart Tolle's work, its not because of premature mid-life crisis. I get conscious bringing it around, people's judgments and thoughts scare me but I'm gradually starting to not care too much as well.

What is it about the mind that keeps wandering either to the past or to the future? He points out how for most people the mind is never happy with the Now, there's either regret about things that has past or anticipation of things in the future. Especially with the latter, I used to look forward to certain dates like end of exam, summer holidays. I thought "Ok, things are good now but imagine after exams how much better it will be". Exams come, and go, and then I think "Ok, this is good, but now I can't wait to go back home, then I'd be really happy." I know now that sort of thinking gets me nowhere, I wait for something and when it comes I want something else. I'm never satisfied and I'd get frustrated because I couldn't understand what it is I wanted. Those things are trivial, for some people it might be different (and more important) things like "I'll be happy once I get a good job" or "I know I'll feel content once I get married" etc. Tolle says the trick is to appreciate all the things that you have now and know that right now, you are in your best situation. Not 5 minutes in the future, not 2 months down the road. I'm starting to get that.

Apparently results are out. I'm not keen to find out, test was fairly hard and despite my best efforts I still know squat about microbiology.